Here's what I'm going to do; and what I'm not going to do. First, not. I'm not going to give you a lecture on sex - what's right, what's wrong, and tell you seven steps on how to move from what's wrong to what's right. I take a pretty conservative view of sex, but I also know there are millions of blogs, books, and podcasts ready and willing to give you a punch to the gut when it comes to sex. I don't feel the need to add to the stack.
Second, am. I am going to tell you how your life will change when you give your sexuality to God. This is the whole point of the Exodus passage we've been looking at. God tells us that we move from a 'rescued people' to a 'people of God' when we obey his commandments. The reason sex is a part of this process is because it's deeply embedded in who we are; in fact, as identities go, it's one of the strongest I've ever come across. If your human, you probably agree with me.
The point is this: when you walk with God and obey him in your sexuality, you place one of your deepest desires before him as an act of worship. The result is that you grow closer to God; you become more a part of the people of God. The opposite is also true.
Our Appetites are Given to God as an Act of Service
Paul tells us in Romans that we are to present our, "bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (12:1-2)."
Our bodies are driven by appetites: we see things we like, we thirst, we hunger, we desire. Jesus wants to be involved in how we spend our downtime, relaxing time, and hobbies. This includes anything we fill our belies with, find to look at, and engage sexually. All these and more are given to God as an act of service. Although, let's be honest this is not always easy to do.
As Appetites Go, Sex is One of the Strongest
There's probably no greater appetite than sex. I mean, think about it: there are days when we merely want a sandwich but we'd kill for sex, right? I mean, maybe it's just me, but when the sexual feeling grabs a hold of a person it's almost unstoppable. Paul uses the language "burning with passion" to describe a young man's desire to engage relations with a woman. One only needs to read Romeo and Juliet to pick up on the strong desire behind the kind of intimate relationships we experience that eventually blossom into a sexual relationship.
I think this is one of the reasons sex is so hotly debated when it comes to religion. We're not just talking about your choice of shoes; we're talking about one of the deepest desires in your being, that makes up your identity. For many of us, we've spent lifetimes building our identity, finding a path towards healthy sex, hiding embarrassing sex, and changing course of what we think will fulfill our deepest sexual desires. So when God suggests changing our sexual behavior, our first reaction is often, "No way! You're kidding right?"
What is More Important: Your Way or God's Identity
I'm not kidding. Or at least, God's not. He wants all of you. This includes your sexual life. Rather than giving you a list of what this includes, I'm going to ask you a simple question: are you willing to let God be the one to shape your sexuality?
This is an important question because you're answer determines a lot. If you answer, "Yes, I will give God all my life, including my sexuality," then God has your heart. He has the ability to change your life because your willing to give him your deepest desires. If you answer, "No, I think I'll keep my identity where it is. God can keep his hands to himself, thank you very much," then there's not a whole lot he can do. I mean, if we're not willing to give him the deepest desire, then how is it we can expect him to grow our character. How can we expect him to give us a helping hand, when we've asked him to keep his hands to himself? You get my point, right?
Imagine you begin a new relationship. You make a friend. But you never let that friend into your house. Wouldn't that be weird? "I mean we're friends right?" "Yeah, we're friends." "But I can't come into your house?" "No, I'm afraid you might touch something." God doesn't want to come in and just touch something; he wants to enter you life and rearrange your whole furniture. But to many people this is just too darn scary of a thing to let happen. So we usually do nothing and, thus, never change.
Where Do We Go From Here?
There's no quick answer to the sex thing. I can't give you a list and tell you to get to work. I can, however, point you to the one who made your sexuality in the first place. A danish philosopher once said: "You need to rest in the one who established the self." If you are wrestling with God, life, and your sexuality I suggestion that you join a community of people who follow Jesus and learn to pray to him and read the Bible. Your questions and ideas of sex will come out of your new identity, as you grow closer to him.